Although there is no right or wrong way to tell others about your divorce, remember that the end of your marriage will affect the people in your life in different ways. There may be family or friends that disagree with your decision, feel compelled to choose sides, or experience a grieving process that is like your own.
However, remaining silent is not a healthy option because it could deprive you and your ex-spouse of much needed support during this painful transition. Before notifying others of your pending divorce, be prepared for varied reactions and decide ahead of time which friends and family members should be told and how much information they will be given.
Telling Your Kids
Although it is important for both parents to be together for this conversation, young children have limited cognitive ability and too much information could confuse or frighten them. Instead of focusing on a detailed conversation, stick to the basics:
- Where the child will live
- What parent the child will live with
- Visitation with the other parent
More importantly, parents should focus on providing their little ones with consistent care and nurturing. Maintaining mealtimes, bedtime, playtime, and other routines will provide children with much needed reassurance and a sense of stability.
Telling Extended Family Members
Before announcing your divorce to family, decide how you will answer the inevitable question of what happened. If you choose to verbally bash your ex-partner now, but one day reconcile, your family may not be on board with the reunion. Additionally, the less details your family knows, the less can be discussed in front of your children. When speaking to family about your divorce, keep the following in mind:
- Ask for support from your own family, but do not expect them to cut ties with your ex-spouse.
- Allow them the needed space to cope with any sense of loss they may be experiencing.
- Identify one confidant, such as a sibling, who will be a continual source of support and encouragement.
When it comes time to talk about your divorce with your friends, make it clear that you are not expecting them to choose sides. Social circles, such as church groups, co-workers, and neighbors, may not need to be told immediately. If you or your ex-spouse plan on continuing to live in your current neighborhood, leaving the details out is a good way to ensure a drama-free future for you and your children.
While it is advisable to tell your boss about changes to insurance policies and child care, when it comes to other people, consider waiting until a situation arises, making it necessary to mention your divorce. However, do not feel obligated to provide details. For example, when the neighbor calls to invite you to the annual Christmas party, consider saying that things have changed, and you will be going alone this year.
Baltimore County Divorce Lawyers at Huesman, Jones & Miles, LLC Assist Clients with Divorce Transitions
If you are going through a divorce, contact an experienced Baltimore County divorce lawyer at Huesman, Jones & Miles, LLC who can help to guide both you and your children through this difficult time. For a free consultation, contact us online today or call us at 443-589-0150. We proudly serve clients throughout Maryland, including the areas of Hunt Valley, Westminster, Baltimore, Bel Air, Columbia, Baltimore County, and the communities of Monkton, Sparks, and Parkton.