A divorce is hard on everyone involved even when the break up is amicable. Questions that frequently arise include: What happens to your relationship with your in-laws? Or to your spouse’s relationship with your own parents? Sometimes the bond formed with your in-laws is just as strong as the marriage was before things fell apart. Navigating what happens after the divorce is tricky and requires thoughtful communication.
Benefits of Family
When two people join in marriage, they gain another family and it can be hard to think of losing all of that at once. As long as the reason for the divorce was not physical or emotional abuse, there may be no reason to feel like the family of your ex has to be cut out of the picture entirely. In fact, especially for the children of divorce, there are substantial benefits to having those relationships continue in as normal a way as possible. The key will be establishing boundaries for who will see whom when, and how often.
Scheduling Time Spent with In-Laws
Though you may accept your former spouse remaining in communication with your parents, think about how you would feel if he or she were spending significant amounts of time together with them, or celebrating important events without you and vice versa. To keep the peace and make everyone feel comfortable with how things are going forward, it may be necessary to create a schedule.
If you have children, you may have already established a parenting plan as part of your child custody agreement. You should also sit down together to make a schedule detailing time spent with former in-laws. It can be helpful to do this through mediation or with a counselor. Having a schedule can reduce the possibility for the buildup of resentment and jealousy. Also consider the grandparents’ rights and schedule their visitation time. Plan your holidays in advance whenever possible so there are no surprises.
Consider Your In-Laws Wishes
It may be possible that although you still feel very connected to your in-laws, they may need a break in the relationship to be able to deal with your divorce. If that is the case, it is important to respect their wishes and try not to take it personally as it has nothing to do with you as a person. If you think there may a different reason for their decision that is related to you or your behavior, then you may want to determine what it is and apologize or set the record straight with them.
Get Counseling
Going through a divorce is tough and you will need a support system. Be sure that you are not turning to your former in-laws as a link to your past relationship with your spouse. Make sure that you have a good counselor or therapist if your network of friends and family is not enough when you need someone to talk things through with.
Our Towson Divorce Lawyers Provide Compassionate Counsel for Those Seeking a Divorce in Maryland
At Huesman, Jones & Miles, LLC, we understand how painful a divorce can be. Our experienced Towson divorce lawyers will make sure your domestic issues are resolved in the way that is best for you. Call us at 443-589-0150 to schedule a consultation or contact us online. We have offices in Towson and Hunt Valley, Maryland to serve you.
