Some people harbor the idea that divorce will always have a negative impact on children, but this is not always the case. If two parents clearly do not get along, but stay together “for the sake of the children,” there may be constant arguments, or long spans of “silent treatment.” Kids pick up on our behavior more than we realize, and any kind of discord can be stressful and worrisome for children in a divorce
Regardless, divorce is not easy on children. There is much debate about what is best for children. Should the parents “stick it out” until their children are older, and then get divorced? Or should parents separate early to spare their children being exposed to arguments and discord? Some experts and bloggers, such as Jonathan Brodsky, note that the most important predictor of a child’s future wellbeing and success is how two parents deal with each other, not how old their children are at the time of their split.
Parents are role models for their children at any age. For a co-parenting relationship to function in a healthy way, parents must be flexible, and go out of their way to accommodate the other parent (barring issues such as substance abuse or domestic violence). When you have children, you make a commitment to always act in their best interests—and sometimes this means separating yourself from whatever feelings of anger and resentment you have for your spouse.
Maintaining Civility Makes a Difference
When co-parenting with your ex, try to remember that from your child’s perspective, it is likely that you are both in the wrong in their eyes, simply because you divorced. This may be true even if one spouse’s conduct precipitated the divorce, such as an affair. Even though it is hard, try not to curry favor with your child by putting down your ex in front of them, or trying to buy their affection.
The best thing you can do for your children in a divorce is to demonstrate respect for the other parent. Never forget that no matter what happens, your child is always going to love both of you. If you put your co-parent down in front of your kids, you are criticizing someone whom they love and respect. Even if you have gone through a tough divorce, things get better over time. It is a process that demands a near daily recommitment on the part of both parents.
Towson Divorce Lawyers at Huesman, Jones & Miles, LLC Represent Divorcing Spouses in Maryland
If you are facing a divorce in Maryland, there are many things you can do to establish a healthy co-parenting relationship. Even if there has been strife in your household for many years, it is never too late to get started on the right foot and set a good example for your kids. The experienced Towson divorce lawyers at Huesman, Jones & Miles can help you develop a visitation schedule that fosters a healthy co-parenting relationship. To speak with us, call 443-589-0150 or contact us online today. With offices located in Hunt Valley, Pikesville, and Towson, Maryland, we represent clients in Baltimore County, Harford County, Carroll County, and Howard County, including Towson, Essex, Columbia, and Bel Air.
