The decision to end your marriage is never an easy one. It can cause a great upheaval in your life, and also in the lives of all those around you. Informing your loved ones of your decision to split can be stressful for everyone involved, so it is wise to handle the situation with extreme care and consideration. Our Towson divorce lawyers offer the following guidelines to help you as you move forward with this important step of your divorce process. We understand that every individual’s situation is unique, so use this only as a guide that can be modified to suit your personal situation.
Telling your Children
Deciding when, how, and how much to tell your children depends largely on their age and level of understanding. First and foremost, do not break the news until you and your spouse are absolutely sure that a separation or divorce is imminent. Telling your kids that you are thinking about getting divorced will only confuse them, or worse, give them hope that there is something they can do to stop it before it happens. When you and your spouse do decide to tell the kids, try to make every effort to agree on what to say, and if possible, break the news together. Telling the children together avoids confusion and conveys a mutual decision. Take this as your first step to effective co-parenting and showing your kids that you will always approach parenting as a united front.
When sitting down to talk to your kids, make sure that you have time to answer their question and concerns. Children will mostly be concerned with how the divorce will affect them, so be prepared to answer questions they are likely to ask, such as: Who will I live with? Will I still be able to attend the same school?
Finally, the most important thing is to remind your children that your love for them will never change. Reassure them often that they are important and that you will always see that their needs are met.
Telling your Family
Reactions to the news of your breakup are likely to be varied and unpredictable. It may be best to practice what you are going to say first. Some family members may be shocked and upset. Decide ahead of time how much you want to tell them and do not allow yourself to be pushed into divulging more than you are comfortable with. There is no need to explain all of the messy details of your marriage, but providing close family members with some sort of reasoning may put them in a better position to understand and support your decision.
Telling your Friends
In many cases, this group may be the easiest to tell. Your friends may already know that you and your spouse were having trouble, so the news may not come as such a shock. When breaking the news, start with the friends who you expect to be the most supportive. Do not be surprised though, if some of your friends do not respond as you would like them to. Some of them may try to persuade you to change your mind, some may disappear completely, and some may become staunch allies with your ex. Try to take this in stride, and focus on nurturing your friendships with those who support you and keep things positive.
Telling your Coworkers and Boss
You may be wondering why it is even necessary to tell your office colleagues about your personal life. However, there are some advantages to telling the right people, such as your boss. You may need to rearrange your work schedule to attend meetings with a counselor, mediator, or your lawyer. Also, letting your boss know that you are going through a difficult time can help them to be more understanding if you seem sad or distracted while at work.
You may want to tell some of your co-workers, but take care with those you reach out to. Stick with the facts and avoid the temptation to tell more than what is necessary. Bad-mouthing your ex and divulging a lot of sordid details about your marriage may feel cathartic, but it is best to keep those discussions among your closest friends and out of the workplace.
Towson Divorce Lawyers at Huesman, Jones & Miles, Provide Support and Guidance for Those Transitioning Through Divorce
If you are considering a divorce or separation, you need someone on your side with experience and knowledge to successfully guide you through the process of divorce. At Huesman, Jones & Miles, our Towson divorce lawyers are committed to helping families transition through this difficult time. To schedule an initial consultation, call 443-589-0150 today or contact us online.