One of the biggest adjustments for divorced parents is accepting that they no longer influence how their ex-spouse parents their children. Differing parenting styles might even be one of the primary reasons for the divorce. How can exes co-parent differently – yet peacefully – to ensure the children a healthy transition into life after divorce?
- Relinquish control. After divorce, you are only in control of your own parenting. Let go of things you cannot control – mainly your spouse’s decisions as a parent. Unless their choices are putting your children in danger, you will need to let go of the little things. Focus your energy instead on being the best parent you can be.
- Find common ground on the big issues. Do not sweat the small stuff, but do try to come to an agreement on the major parenting issues. Exes that have a cordial relationship can establish consistent rules for electronics usage, bedtimes, chores, etc. Creating a united front on the big issues gives children a sense of continuity – even through the changes that come with divorce.
- Lead by example. Telling your children what is wrong with their mother or father will only make them feel bad about themselves. You chose their other parent, so do not punish the children because you are disappointed in how things turned out. Show the children you respect your ex. Children need the freedom to decide what kind of relationship they want with both parents.
- Let children be children. Kids are not pawns, weapons, or go-betweens after divorce. Adult conversations should remain between adults. If your children have an issue with your ex, they need to discuss it with them directly. Unless your children are too young to express themselves, or there is an issue affecting their safety, you need to step out of their relationship with the other parent.
- Know that kids are resilient. Children are more adaptable than we realize. You may have reservations about the kids moving between two households with two different parenting styles. But children will adjust and even learn some valuable life skills in the process. Navigating between different households will help them transition into new schools, workplaces, and other social settings as they grow.
- Practice positivity. Your ex may not have been right for you, but that does not exclude them from being an exceptional parent. Do not hold back from showing your kids that you appreciate your ex for the wonderful parent they are. If your ex is an engaged, involved, and loving parent, focus on that rather than the issues that led to your divorce. Positivity is contagious.
Towson Child Custody Lawyers at Huesman, Jones, & Miles, LLC Resolve Tough Child Custody Cases
Determining child custody in Maryland can be a complicated process. You are dealing with the emotions that come with divorce and want to ensure the best possible outcome for your children. Towson child custody lawyers at Huesman, Jones, & Miles, LLC help parents resolve child custody issues in the best interest of their children. Call our offices today to schedule a free consultation at 443-589-0150 or contact us online.
We serve clients in and around Cockeysville, Lutherville Timonium, Upper Falls, Phoenix, Riderwood, Sparks Glencoe, Towson, Brooklandville, Butler, Stevenson, Glyndon, Monkton, Reisterstown, Pikesville, Owings Mills, Parkville, Boring, Glen Arm, Baldwin, Upperco, Hydes, and Baltimore County.
